Waiting for Wonderland

Vintage shopping in Wonderland

2012-01-19T11:20:00.001+10:00

My friend, Michele, and I share a love for vintage fashion. Guam doesn't have too much to offer as far as thrift store or vintage shopping, but it just makes it that much more special when you find something amazing. A week ago we decided to check out Peace, Love, and Charity. I've mentioned PL&C before. It's a cute little family run thrift store. All the money you spend in the store goes to the Calvo Cancer Foundation. I know a family that has been helped by this foundation so I it makes me feel pretty good to know my money is going to help actual families on Guam.

Another thing I love about PL&C is that the store is not dusty. It's hard to shop when you're sneezing up a storm. Although I have found some great books and even my favorite jacket at The Salvation Army.

Look what I found at PL&C. Isn't this dress awesome!!! It was very reasonably priced and in such amazing condition. No holes, and all the buttons! And it fits like it was made for me. I know it's more 30s than 20s,which I was hoping for, but I still adore it. I'm thinking about removing the satin sleeves though, or at least the shoulder pads. Michele found one too. Hopefully we'll have a party where it will be appropriate to wear these dresses. I'll be sure to post pics.

A new year in wonderland

2012-01-09T10:18:00.000+10:00

The holiday season is over and I've finally found some calm to blog. I hope everyone had an amazing New Year! While mine wasn't crazy eventful, it was a time for thought. I'm not very big on resolutions, but I have made a mental list of what I want to focus my spirit on for this year. Among other things my art is high on that list. While last year was a good year for creative energy, I really want to ensure that this year is even better.

This is one of my favorite pieces of mine. It's not that I think it is beautiful. When I look at this piece I remember the ease and release I felt painting it. There was no hesitation in choosing color or strokes or technique. It just flowed like energy. My friend, who was there while I was painting, was concerned that it looked like falling in a downward spiral. That makes sense since I was having an emotional meltdown. Art is amazing like that though. The ability to take something so complicated and hard to deal with and turn it in to something more accessible, and sometimes even beautiful, is amazing.

So, let go, let go - Jump in - Oh well, what you waiting for? - It's all right 'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown - Frou Frou "Let Go"

I'm craving another purely inspired moment. When I did the painting of the women who saved Guahan I was inspired, but it didn't come easy. The actual creation process was controlled by my self consciousness. I studied and sketched and erased and outlined and calculated each stroke. I'm proud of it, but sometimes when I look at it now I wish I had just let go. Hopefully this will be a year of finding that ability to release the control my self has on my work, so that I can grow and find my way.

Speaking of inspiration, I've been wanting to blog about another local artist, Simeon Palomo. Simeon is a family friend and an amazing artist. He creates the most beautiful floral arrangements using locally grown plants and things we all might have lying around our homes and yards. He also recently released a beautiful book filled with pictures of some of his arrangements and our beautiful island. Scattered through out the book are quotes and stories from his friends and family, including one from me. If you're interested in his work you can check out his website or the Facebook page for the book, Tropical Art, Guam. If you're interested in purchasing the book, you can check those links for a list of stores selling it, or you can purchase it online through Guampedia. You won't be disappointed.

Simeon isn't the only local artist inspiring me this new year. I spent last Friday wrapped in the wonderful energy of Kannai, the art group I'm apart of. Why explain the art and artists in words when I can show you in pictures? :)

collaboration. isn't it beautiful?

a round table art activity

This is my piece from that night.

Blue skies in Wonderland: a beach day with my cousins

2011-11-28T14:41:00.001+10:00

InnerVoices by Uncle Tote

Marianas Homegrown

What a beautiful song for a beautiful day!

Penaflor cousins - Me, Rie, and Jake

The day started out really rainy, but look at that beautiful sky!

with our mer-jake

Yay for beach days!

Occupied in Wonderland: Students occupy the university

2011-11-18T09:36:00.001+10:00

"GUAM'S BEEN OCCUPIED SINCE EVER SINCE!

GUÅHAN'S THE PLACE A NEW DAY BEGINS!"

Celebrate in Wonderland: Biba Pagat!

2011-11-16T22:23:00.001+10:00

BREAKING NEWS: DOD agrees to re-think Route 15 firing range; More studies, scoping planned

sketching in Wonderland

2011-11-15T17:17:00.001+10:00

I've been a bit busy lately. I have a few great projects going on and of course I'm also working to pay the bills, but I've been sketching a lot lately. I just thought I'd share some stuff.

I'm working on something for a legend.

sketching at a forum

I edited this a bit. You can see the sketch on the next page just faintly.

Life in Wonderland: The Maidens Who Saved Guahan

2011-11-03T08:46:00.000+10:00

*color reproductions available - $10*

I just want to share one of my latest paintings and the story behind it. I've copied the story from Guampedia to post here. If you're interested in reading more of our island's legends or just want to learn more about Guahan in general, Guampedia is a great site to visit.

In the story “Maidens Who Saved Guam,” a monster parrot fish is chewing his way through the island of Guam, determined to destroy the island. Night after night the men of Guam went out in search of the huge destructive fish but could not find it.

The young women would talk about the monster whenever they gathered to wash their hair and rinse it with orange peels. Their favorite spot to gather was at the Agana Springs. When they finished, the pool would be covered with orange peels. One day a girl noticed the peels floating in Pago Bay. She was puzzled by their appearance. After some thought, she surmised that the monster must have eaten a hole all the way under the island from Pago Bay to Agana Springs and that was where it was hiding.

The next day when the girls gathered at the Agana Springs they wove a net with their long black hair and then sat around the pool and began to sing. The monster fish, enchanted by the music, swam up from the bottom of the spring to listen to the singing girls. Suddenly the girls spread their net over the spring and dived into the pool. The monster fish was caught and the island of Guam was saved.

Sketchy in Wonderland: More pages from my sketchbook

2011-10-20T09:27:00.000+10:00

I've been working on my illustration skills. I've found out that I don't really have any. lol

my Sirena

I did this last year.

I was bored and bit off more than I could chew. I shouldn't have added the color.

Community in Wonderland: Hatsa i kanai-mu giya fiestan uchan

2011-10-14T22:14:00.000+10:00

Hatsa i kannai-mu!

Wow! I had an interesting day. Today was the opening day for the annual Micronesian Islands Fair. Biba Micronesia! Our art group has been meeting frequently to prepare for this event. We came up with an activity to do with the many school children who attend the first day of the fair with their classes.

Kannai (hand) is what we've been calling ourselves. We decided on this because hands can symbolize so much. We use our hands to create, share, receive. I could go on and on. Hatsa i kannai-mu means raise your hand. For the fair, we decided to do a community art project with the kids. We took a large sheet and painted a great big hand on it. We spread that sheet out over a few tables and set up a paint and hand washing station. We talked to the kids about the many things you can do with your hands to help be active in the community and let them choose a color and sent them to the sheet to leave their hand print. All those little hands helped to create a mural of hand prints which in a way is Kannai's hand print.

eeee kalakas!

We managed to cover the entire sheet and were planning to break out another sheet we had prepared, but it started raining. We decided it was a good time for a break and went to get some bbq sticks and check out some of the other booths. It started getting extremely muddy and when we got back to the booth we were sharing with some other artists, our feet were mostly submerged. We were all laughing and taking pictures of our sunken feet while it just kept pouring down uchan (rain) .

Before we know it, we were dancing the cha cha knee deep in flood water. I'm serious, there was both knee deep flood water and cha cha going around. I was wearing jeans and kept having to roll them up. It got to the point where if I rolled it up any higher I'd cut off circulation to the lower half of my legs. We couldn't just run for higher ground either. We had way too much set up. Plus, we were entertaining each other too much to be really freaked out. It was an adventure!

Where did Dakota's knees go?!

scaled down sakman on the pond that was our beach park, earlier in the day

(L-R) car, Joey, picnic table
Joey is the only one that will be mobile today

The picnic area is nearly submerged up to the seat and if you look closely you can see a happy carabao keeping her owner dry and mobile.

Check out our friend, Rebecca Rae's site! She has some beautiful art and amazing jewelry.
IslaRae.com

Painting in Wonderland: CAHA, face painting, and haggan

2011-10-10T23:32:00.000+10:00

Haggan (turtle)
Acrylic on mat board

Today I finally turned in the form to register with CAHA's artist directory. I've been planning on doing that for over a year, but I procrastinate. I think the hardest part was figuring out how to describe my art. I wish I could've just shown them pictures and had them write something up, but oh well. I think going to CAHA and seeing the artwork there and at the Chamorro Affairs office got me in the painting mood.

On Saturday, I went to the Down Syndrome Association of Guam's 10th anniversary gathering. Allan's baby sister has down syndrome and his mom is the current president of the association. She had asked me if some of my friends and I would like to face paint for the event. Joey and Colleen came and did some really awesome little works of art on the sweetest faces. It was a great event for a great cause.

I painted a few faces with little turtles and that inspired me to create this. Considering I didn't have a reference picture, this didn't turn out too bad. It obviously could be better, but I still like her. :)

Painting in Wonderland: New Pieces :)

2011-09-17T22:57:00.001+10:00

"Tasi's Palette"
Acrylic on mat board.
Painted at Asga' - 2nd Third Friday gathering .

"Peace of Paper"
Acrylic on canvas panel
*for sale*

"Look At Me Now"
16"x20" acrylic on canvas
*for sale*

Viewed in Wonderland: Let them return!

2011-09-02T17:16:00.000+10:00

"Take my land,

It's called stealing!"

Rainy in Wonderland: off and painting

2011-09-02T16:46:00.001+10:00

Rainy days are great for staying in and painting. Thankfully, I was off today and able to do just that. I even got to take a nap.

This piece was fun to work on. I was thinking about that day that Nella and I went on our tree planting adventure. I started with a paint brush, but decided to do more of a palette knife application when I was working on the hills. I actually don't have palette knives. Those things are expensive! So instead I used the little plastic shovel looking spoons you get when you have gelato. This was practice for a piece I have lodged in my brain. I just need to see it more clearly before I try to get it out for every one else to see.

Viewed in Wonderland: Gax Fall 2011

2011-09-01T22:11:00.000+10:00

I had an awesome time at the Guam Art Exhibit, GAX, but I didn't get a ton of pictures. It was pretty packed and I was wine-ing it up and enjoying the great company and art. I did find this video on You Tube though.

Enjoy!

You can also check out the Pacific Daily News article on the event.

Sharing in Wonderland: Pages from my sketchbooks

2011-08-29T22:40:00.000+10:00

Just a few pages from my sketchbooks

I was at Ypao waiting for Allan to get off of work and decided to sketch this tree with a kite stuck in it.

I used one of Allan's skate mags to look for reference pics.

This looks super funky. I need more practice!

Community in Wonderland: creative community

2011-08-28T14:29:00.003+10:00

I haven't felt this inspired in a while. For the past few weeks or so I've been meeting and exchanging dreams with some artists here on Guahan. I'm a member of a bunch of online artist communities, but this is different, obviously. It's great to sit face to face and interact, collaborate, and share with a group of people who are not only passionate about art, but also community. And we don't just want to sit and talk. We are motivating each other to get out there and create for ourselves and our island.

With the help of We Are Guahan, we were able to paint another Prutehi yan Difendi bus stop. This time we met and planned first, picked a theme, and brainstormed the elements we wanted to incorporate in our mural. We learned about the village that the bus stop is in. Ordot means ant in CHamorro and is home to farms. It took a day of priming and 2 weekends to finish, but we were able to complete the mural before school was back in session. It felt really good to provide some kids with an inviting and stimulating place to start their school day.

Aside from the bus stops we also decided that we wanted to have a creative night once a month to get together and create. We are mostly made up of visual artists and one writer, but we plan to invite musicians and other creative minds to join us. The first creative night was freaking awesome. I mean, I've had painting sessions with a couple of friends at my apartment, but nothing like this. Every once in a while I'd step back from what I was working on and look around at the beauty that was being created. The energy we were sharing was so refreshing and positive. I can't wait for the next session.

Just last night I got together with a few artists in the group, and someone new, to talk about what we want to do next. After the serious (I don't even think you can call it that) discussions we decided to have an impromptu creative night. While Colleen worked on her printing, I sat at a round table with the other 3 artists and we did this crazy collaboration-ish thing.

We each started a drawing and every 10 or so minutes the table turned counter clockwise. So we each added on to the drawings. It was a lot of fun. It wasn't super serious and it was pretty challenging.

I can't wait for the next session.

Check out these community art projects I found on You Tube.

Community in Wonderland: Eat Local! Grow Local!

2011-08-22T23:19:00.000+10:00

It's been forever since I've updated my blog. I haven't been able to sit down and write, or type, for a while. I still don't really feel like writing, but I did want to share this recently completed project with everyone who follows my blog. Hopefully I'll be writing more soon. If not, I'll be posting pictures of what's happening in my community.

Community in Wonderland: I can't believe it got this bad.

2011-07-09T15:27:00.000+10:00

I had a pretty rough day at work. Almost everything that could go wrong did. I was feeling really crappy when I got off. Then I watched this news story and I realized that my bad work day was really minor in comparison to this.

I hope Rota can maintain their bird population. I've been to the bird sanctuary on Rota and it was amazing.

Community in Wonderland: Prutehi yan Difendi

2011-07-08T11:16:00.001+10:00

Just wanted to share some pictures. On July 4 we painted this bus stop in the Pagat area.

Community in Wonderland: Guahan's 254th on July 4th

2011-07-04T15:31:00.000+10:00

2 Squads From Guam Guard's 254th Heading to Iraq for Security Duty

Guam - Two squads from the 254th Security Forces Squadron, Guam Air National Guard are leaving this weekend to begin their five-month long deployment to Iraq. The Airmen are slated to deploy to Iraq after a month of training in the U.S. mainland.

They will be conducting air base ground defense missions which may include perimeter patrols and security for base entry points.

The 254th Security Forces Squadron was officially stood up in 2005. All of the more than 90 members of the unit have been deployed to various locations throughout U.S Pacific Air Forces area of operations. They have also supported such missions as Operation Jump Start in the southwestern United States and been deployed to Louisiana in support of Hurricane Katrina recovery operations.

The squadron’s first Air Expeditionary Force rotation was to Eskan Village, Saudi Arabia in 2007.

The two squads are scheduled to return to Guam around January 2012.

-from the Pacific News Center

Please keep our soldiers in your thoughts. Today I watched as parents, spouses, children, siblings, and friends said good bye to the soldiers they hold closest. I can't wait for the day when we are all gathered again to greet them with home made banners, balloons, and hugs.

:( in Wonderland: this is worrisome

2011-04-06T11:57:00.000+10:00

Fukushima: Radioactivity in Sea up 7.5 Million Times | Common Dreams

Marine life contamination well beyond Japan feared

by Kanako Takahara

Radioactive iodine-131 readings taken from seawater near the water intake of the Fukushima No. 1 nuclear plant's No. 2 reactor reached 7.5 million times the legal limit, Tokyo Electric Power Co. admitted Tuesday.

Japan's inability to stem the Fukushima leak is worrying fisherman, while Tokyo Electric has insisted radionuclides are being diluted to safe levels in the Pacific. (Photograph: Stephen Morrison/EPA)The sample that yielded the high reading was taken Saturday, before Tepco announced Monday it would start releasing radioactive water into the sea, and experts fear the contamination may spread well beyond Japan's shores to affect seafood overseas.

The unstoppable radioactive discharge into the Pacific has prompted experts to sound the alarm, as cesium, which has a much longer half-life than iodine, is expected to concentrate in the upper food chain.

According to Tepco, some 300,000 becquerels per sq. centimeter of radioactive iodine-131 was detected Saturday, while the amount of cesium-134 was 2 million times the maximum amount permitted and cesium-137 was 1.3 million times the amount allowable.

The amount of iodine-131 dropped to 79,000 becquerels per sq. centimeter Sunday but shot up again Monday to 200,000 becquerels, 5 million times the permissible amount.

The level of radioactive iodine in the polluted water inside reactor 2's cracked storage pit had an even higher concentration. A water sample Saturday had 5.2 million becquerels of iodine per sq. centimeter, or 130 million times the maximum amount allowable, and water leaking from the crack had a reading of 5.4 million becquerels, Tepco said.

"It is a considerably high amount," said Hidehiko Nishiyama, spokesman for the Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency.

Masayoshi Yamamoto, a professor of radiology at Kanazawa University, said the high level of cesium is the more worrisome find.

"By the time radioactive iodine is taken in by plankton, which is eaten by smaller fish and then by bigger fish, it will be diluted by the sea and the amount will decrease because of its eight-day half-life," Yamamoto said. "But cesium is a bigger problem."

The half-life of cesium-137 is 30 years, while that for cesium-134 is two years. The longer half-life means it will probably concentrate in the upper food chain.

Yamamoto said such radioactive materials are likely to be detected in fish and other marine products in Japan and other nations in the short and long run, posing a serious threat to the seafood industry in other nations as well.

"All of Japan's sea products will probably be labeled unsafe and other nations will blame Japan if radiation is detected in their marine products," Yamamoto said.

Tepco on Monday began the release into the sea of 11,500 tons of low-level radioactive water to make room to store high-level radiation-polluted water in the No. 2 turbine building. The discharge continued Tuesday.

"It is important to transfer the water in the No. 2 turbine building and store it in a place where there is no leak," Nishiyama of the NISA said. "We want to keep the contamination of the sea to a minimum."

Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano apologized for the release of radioactive water into the sea but said it was unavoidable to prevent the spread of higher-level radiation.

Fisheries minister Michihiko Kano said the ministry plans to increase its inspections of fish and other marine products for radiation.

On Monday, 4,080 becquerels per kilogram of radioactive iodine was detected in lance fish caught off Ibaraki Prefecture. Fishermen voluntarily suspended its shipment. The health ministry plans to compile radiation criteria for banning marine products.

Three days after Tepco discovered the crack in the reactor 2 storage pit it still hadn't found the source of the high radiation leak seeping into the Pacific.

Tepco initially believed the leak was somewhere in the cable trench that connects the No. 2 turbine building and the pit. But after using milky white bath salt to trace the flow, which appeared to prove that was not the case, the utility began to think it may be seeping through a layer of small stones below the cable trench.

Information from Kyodo added

Viewed in Wonderland: What's in the water ...

2011-04-01T09:45:00.000+10:00

at JFK high school? These kids have crazy talent and motivation! I graduated from this high school in 2002 and our fundraisers were no where near as cool as these. Check out what the class of 2011 is doing to raise money for their prom and graduation.

These kids are amazing!

Life in Wonderland: release some stress

2011-03-31T09:02:00.000+10:00

PAINT! Painting is an awesome way to relax.

Community in Wonderland: Preserving language

2011-03-25T21:48:00.000+10:00

I read a letter to the editor today from one of our local papers. Allan was sitting next to me singing and playing the guitar. He stopped when he noticed a change in my facial expression. I was very upset and he could tell. He asked what was wrong and I explained to him that someone's lettter to the editor pissed me off. His response was, "Hayi?!" Hayi means who. The fact that he responded in Chamorro instead of English meant so much at that moment.

This is the letter to the editor:

I read with great interest the article in the 21 March 2011 Marianas Variety Guam entitled “Chamorro Language Bills to Cost Millions”.
I’m not a linguist, but over the years I have noticed some things about language around the world that GovGuam may want to consider before spending too much money on preserving a dead language.
I went to Paris, France with a French Canadian friend from Berlin NH. His grandparents’ only spoke French Canadian, his parents’ spoke both English and French Canadian and he wrote, read and spoke French Canadian as a second language.
What was interesting was that the Parisians actually understood my Boston English better than his spoken French. He read the language and understood the meaning, but the spoken words were not understandable.
The Egyptians don’t speak the same Arabic as the people of Syria or Saudi Arabia. London English, Boston English and Dallas English look the same in writing, but don’t sound the same.
The party game where you whisper 4 or 5 words to your neighbor and see what message comes back is, I suspect, how close ancient Chamorro and today’s Chamorro are to each other.
The Catholic Church tried to save the written language of Latin without much success. Latin had thousands of written documents and thousands of years of history to fall back on and it’s still a dead language.
Chamorros had no written language until the Spanish arrived. The last full blooded Chamorro male on Guam died before 1830. The Spanish outlawed the speaking of the Chamorro language for almost 100 years.
This is only hearsay, but I was told that the present Chamorro language started in World War II when the Japanese outlawed the speaking of English.
The people on Guam started speaking in a code that was not “English”. This code is present day Chamorro. If this were true “HAVE A NICE DAY” might sound something like “hafa adai” in the non-English whisper code.
If you could defrost a 400-year-old ancient Chamorro somewhere, I doubt he would understand a single word in today’s Chamorro language.
Do today’s children need an appreciation of Chamorro culture and language? Maybe! Do today’s children need to know how to live in caves without electricity, water or sewer?
Do the children of Guam need to learn how to hollow out a log to make a boat, how to make buggy whips or how to repair a gasoline engine?
If the school is going to teach a dead language, I’d vote for a dead computer language. In today’s world is there any value in learning a language that can only be used in your home?

Charles Adams
Tamuning

You can probably see why this upset me and why Allan responding in Chamorro made me feel better. In our home the Chamorro language is not thriving, but it is not dead either! The comments that followed the article also made me feel better. Here are 2 of my favorites:

I am a mainlander. When I was a child, my father lived on Guam for a year, not military, just a guy getting off the mainland. He lived near Inarajan in a little bungalow on the beach with a mainland family and worked on a tuna fishing boat where he was subjected to the standard abuse doled out to a newbie and a mainlander. He was befriended by many of the local families there, and when he flew back he even brought me my first tuna sashimi, packed on ice during his flight. Imagine an 8 year old boy eating sashimi from Guam in the middle of the mountains in Washington state!
About six years ago, I had a chance to visit Guam. I had met many Chammoros here in California, and was able to travel there with some of those friends and experience the real culture of Guam. Amazing family meals, bbq's on the beach, I even got to hear a Taotaomona let out a yip and saw the pinch mark on my friend's arm. I searched out the place my dad used to live, and was able to pick it out by the little islands off the south coast, but most of the tidal pools and property had been changed or washed away by typhoons. So much seemed to have changed in that time, a period of about 25 years. But one thing from those photos I used to look at remained the same. The images of large extended families welcoming him to immense buffets of meats and red rice and kelaguin were a mirror image of what I experienced first hand two decades later. Even with all the social and political changes, even with typhoons tearing the landscape apart and changing the physical aspects of the island, the culture remains strong.
The point of this rambling story is that even a mainlander who only visited Guam for 9 days could feel the culture and experience a way of life that is deeply rooted in tradition. It was quite obvious to me that these families, my Chamorro brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, take extreme pride in their culture, their history, and their language. The heritage on Guam is strong, and any true Human Being with a heart to listen with can hear the reverberations of the ancient Chamorros on this island. Mr. Adams is obviously coming at this issue in a purely financial sense, and the other commenters were spot on when they attribute this to the blanching of culture in the west. It is shameful that I must be grouped in with this type of culturally empty and probably upwardly mobile capitalist.
Thank you, Guam, for the experience of a lifetime. I hope to return and enjoy the same warm island welcome and AMAZING food! (Hawai'i, eat your heart out.) -Billy Carter

That one made me cry. Saina ma'ase, Mr. Carter!

This next one is from local businessman, Kaz Endo.

A Letter to Charles Adam.

I point to your last sentence in your letter as the primary reason for the need to teach the Chamorro language in both public and private schools. You wrote: "In today’s world is there any value in learning a language that can only be used in your home?"

The answer clearly is yes, there is value, if not a pressing need to preserve such a local language.

For my answer to make sense to you, you need to assume this island; GUAM is home, and not just the concrete dwelling in which we all sleep in... keep reading.

Language connects people, both near and far. Whether it is spoken in English, Chinese, Italian, Japanese, or Chamorro - the words understood 'natively' can really never be replaced with a translation. There are emotions and deeper meanings that simply get lost in translation. This is why art forms such as poetry, books and plays rarely are as powerful translated as they would be in its native form.

Language from any culture originates from the need to communicate with one's community. As long as such communities exist, that language should be preserved for the sake of the community. Language is culture and culture is language. It's that simple. If the 'Chamoru' loses their language, in a sense it loses its community.

The Chamorro language isn't 'dead' it is rather, quite alive and being used here in Guam and around the world. Just because something isn't used in mass, does not equate it as dead or obsolete. If you have a hard time understanding my point, just think of the Chamorro language as fine wine, rather than grape juice. Although only a few can enjoy it, it is still something to be enjoyed.

But let's not be simpletons here. A more accurate analogy would be this: With the advancement of photo enhancing software that allow photos to mimic paintings or illustrations, should we assume then that paintings, illustrations and natural medium art are also obsolete and dead?

Of course not.

Capturing images on a camera is not the same as creating them on a canvas. This rings true for language however large or small its popular use. Communicating in English is not the same as doing so in Chamorro, or for that matter in Italian, Japanese or in French!

Speaking of which ... your story of your friend (who speaks and writes secondary French) who visited Paris and found himself having more success speaking English than broken French is a prime example of my point above.

The French would rather speak to you in broken English (by the way, many Parisians actually speak English very well), than to have their beloved language butchered by an ex-pat tourist. To the French, speaking lousy French, is like dipping 'foie gras' into ketchup — they rather have you eat fries than for you to do that to their favorite dish.

Your failure to grasp the need of including language education for children at their developmental age, is rather understandable given that you probably were not raised with such balance in mind by those who educated you.

Learning a language should not be just for future economical advantage (i.e., learning Chinese, Spanish or Japanese). The mandate for learning a language in school should always start 'local' and move towards global requirements. The more languages we all speak, the better we all would be!

Children who live in Guam, regardless of race and ethnicity, should be required to learn, even if it be at a rudimentary level — the native language of where they live. This allows them to understand Guam's culture well-beyond what's written in history books. The ability to converse with Chamorro elders (relative or not), the ability to have a sense of unity (remember language connects people), with native residents shows respect to the host ... and in return, the host will show respect to its 'guests'.

No other country has a problem understanding my point above, then perhaps the United States of America. Why? Simple, really... Because America is a true melting pot of different cultures. Ironically, for this reason, the modern American, although patriotic, still needs to harness their roots from their family's own origins, while being American.

This is why many people in the United States feel the need to label themselves as African-American, Chinese-American, Irish-American, French-American, Japanese-American and so on ... rather than just being 'AMERICAN.' The only American that really needs no prefix is of course the original Americans - the native indians (AMERICAN-Indians).

Chuck, I'm almost done ... keep reading ...

With regard to the recommendation that children learn a 'dead' computer language over the so-called dead Chamorro language, I fully understood your intended sarcasm, but even sarcasm needs to make sense to show the implied wit behind it!

Although computer languages are also a manmade, it is not a language that people speak to one another. We are not machines. An obsolete computer language (i.e., Basic), does nothing for a child, whereas perhaps learning Latin (your so called other dead language) can allow a child to read the works of early books and philosophies in its native and true form. I mean, wouldn't we all want to read the book of Nostradamus in his own words (Latin)? I would. Instead, I am forced to accept the English, translated version. What does an antiquated computer language such as DOS or Fortran get me? Nothing ... except, perhaps keep me unemployed as computer programmer.

Learning his or her native language or in the case of all Guam students, learning the native tongue of where they live, regardless of their own ethnic background (or future need) is truly beneficial for their overall development. We should encourage balanced spending to promote language and other academics, not use the lack of budget, as the reason to take them away.

Chuck, in the future, use analogies to make a compelling point — not red herrings. Children don't need to learn how to live in caves, but they certainly can learn to say "thank you" or "you're welcome" in Chamorro.

In closing ...

It would have been far simpler to call you an idiot at the very beginning of my letter, but clearly you are not, an idiot. After all, you articulated and pragmatically explained your position. So it was only fair for me to do the same to counter your mis-guided opinion with response just as pragmatic and hopefully, articulate.

So, there you go — You are NOT an idiot, rather — just ignorant.

You can fix ignorance. We all can. Good luck doing it.

Regards,
K

:D That one made me smile! Saina ma'ase, Kaz.

Life in Wonderland: On my mind

2011-03-23T13:44:00.000+10:00

on my mind - acrylic on mat board

When you take a break from blogging it is really hard to get back in to it. I spend a lot of time thinking about blogs I want to write. Then something else comes up and I get distracted.

I wish I could stay focused!

life in Wonderland: just a random painting session.

2011-03-19T04:14:00.000+10:00

Sorry I've been too wrapped up in life to write. Actually, I've been reading the Artemis Fowl Series and painting. I just haven't felt like expressing myself with words lately.

Community in Wonderland: Today is a great day

2011-03-09T23:16:00.000+10:00

Today is a great day for those who believe in the Guamanian Dream,
those who dream of continued dependence on the military for our island's prosperity,
those who believe it is okay to sign away cultural resources with questions left unanswered,
those who feel it is easier to put our future in the hands of others rather than push for more accountability in those we vote for.

While I don't share that dream, today was still a great day for me. Today I saw beauty in my mother attempting to cook a dish that her mother once made. She told me that around lent her uncles would bring fish that they caught to my grandparents and in return my grandparents would give them vegetables from their garden. My grandmother would make eskabeche with the fish and vegetables. Today I went with my parents as they shopped for the ingredients for this dish. I thought it was a little sad that we had to shop for fish and vegetables, but something made it a little brighter. As she rang up the vegetables, the cashier recognized the ingredients and asked my mom if she was going to make eskabeche. My mom explained that she was going to try to, but it was her first time. The woman told my mom to wait while she rang up another person after us, then she closed her lane and took my mom to the side and gave her some tips on how she makes her eskabeche. How beautiful is that? Thank you Betty at Hagatna Payless.

Shortly after reading the article about the programmatic agreement being signed I went off on an adventure with Nella. We planned to walk from Gun Beach to Hilton. I was very upset around the time Nella arrived, but once we got going I was mostly happy. It's hard to be disappointed when you're surrounded by ocean and sky. The walk was amazing. I almost cried when we realized that the group of paddlers nearby were not counting in the Spanish borrowed numbers, but in the original CHamoru language. "Hacha, hugua, tulu, fatfat. . . "

My dreams do not include a firing range in close proximity to ancient burial grounds and other places of cultural significance. They don't include the bartering of environmental integrity for the possibility of economic growth. They don't include the expansion of dependence on the military for our survival. My dreams are made of the things that made my day great and visions of sustainability and learning from our history.

Before I wrote this post I was mad again. It was almost a rant. But while writing this I realized that ranting will not do any good. Just because I think someone else's dream is ridiculous doesn't mean I should stop focusing on my dream. So for those of us who don't dream of living the Guamanian Dream, we just have to remember that this is not the end of our dreams. It just may mean that we may have to dream bigger and harder.

Life in Wonderland: A new project!

2011-02-19T23:16:00.001+10:00

Hafa Adai! I started a new project with Nella. One night we were hanging out and decided to make a list of things we wanted to do this year. The list started to grow and we decided on 25 items, but set a goal to complete at least 20 out of the 25 items together. Then we came up with the idea of blogging about it. We figure that if we publicly document our mission it will help keep us committed to the project.

So I'd like to invite you all to follow us on our journey. Please follow 2 girls, 1 bucket... list!

To give you and idea of what to expect, here is the second webisode we posted. We completed an item on our list already!

2 Girls, 1 Bucket List - Ep. 2 from two girls on Vimeo.

Celebrate in Wonderland: Biba Egypt!

2011-02-12T23:51:00.000+10:00

I cried this morning after I saw the headlines. So beautiful. So amazing. So much hope.

Community in Wonderland: We heart Carmen!

2011-02-10T23:20:00.000+10:00

I went to a medical fundraiser this evening. Carmen Costello is an amazing artist and beautiful human being. Our island was very blessed to have her with us. She'll be leaving us very soon to spread the love and get healthy. We're sending soooo much love and appreciation her way.

Look at the amazing pieces I took home!! The print is by Carmen and I decided to purchase it as a gift for Allan. The 2 ceramic pieces are by another local artist, Monaeka Flores. I have a large painting of her's hanging in my living room. :) The red necklace is by Carmen. She makes such unique pieces! My mom bought me this since it matched the dress I was wearing The orange bead and seed necklace is by Mama Jill. Mama Jill is a master carver and just a really beautiful person. She does so much to encourage the preservation and appreciation of our culture.

I had a really awesome night, but I'm a little sad. I wish Carmen could stay longer or I wish I had met her sooner. She tells the funniest stories and has such amazing energy. She has so much to share and teach and she's not stingy with her stories, talent, or heart. We love her very much and wish her all the best!

Carmen, in red, signing prints.

some jewelry by Carmen & ceramic and clay pieces by Monaeka

Carmen's originals up for auction

donated raffle prizes

Life in Wonderland: Conversations with myself on colonialism and revolution

2011-02-03T19:14:00.002+10:00

Watching the revolution in Egypt on You Tube and reading about it on the news and on Facebook posts has got me thinking even more about Guahan's past, present and future. I find myself crying while watching the demonstrators regain their dignity and realize their power as a united people. It's sad that what was a peaceful revolution has turned in to something more dangerous and almost medieval, but there is still beauty in it. They are doing what they can to maintain momentum while protecting each other, their homes, and their country. I wish them a safe a journey towards a destiny of their own molding.

I was thinking about how it got to that point for them. What made them so fed up that they decided it was time for change? If thirty years of not having a real vote is what it took, then Guahan is due for change too.

While we vote for our governor and legislature, we don't vote for our president and live by a constitution that was not written or amended with our needs in mind. We have little control, if any, over trade and immigration. These are things that hinder opportunities for us to contribute to the world. They hinder our ability to sustain ourselves with out dependency on U.S. aid. We are being controlled by that dependency.

At the same time too many of us underestimate our gifts. I'm talking about the people who say we have no resources and nothing to offer the world. We have this beautiful island, ocean, and people. Our people are resources. And we have many very talented people who just need support and encouragement to cultivate their abilities and talents. We produce more military service men and women per capita than any state. Why not cultivate doctors, artists, musicians, teachers, leaders, scientists, and farmers? Why is everything we consume imported? Music, food, literature, and language are all brought in from somewhere else. I'm not saying we should block out everything. I'm just saying we should appreciate what we have too and do our best to sustain those resources. We need to stop telling our children that they must leave in order to thrive. We need to stop telling our children that if they stay they will only survive off the aid and hand me downs of more powerful nations.

I think colonialism plays a big part in our way of thinking. We've been led to believe that we were a people who were not strong enough to survive on our own and we continue to play that role they've casted us in. What I think we have to see is that no nation stands alone. They are all connected and an integral part of the stability of the world. As it is now, we have no say in our destiny and in our level of connection with other nations. But it is not beyond us to become the designers of our destiny. We just need to reconnect with our community and talk about what we want and need. We need to dream! We need to believe in ourselves and each other. We need to believe that our island and people are more than what they tell us we are.

Just like the people of Egypt, we can unite to realize our dreams for Guahan. Hopefully it won't take insufferable oppression and severe desperation to get us to that point. But either way, there will come a day when the sounds of our ocean are entwined with the raised voices of Guahan's revolution. I just hope that our revolution is brought on by education and a uniting of our community.

Life in Wonderland: Inspired

2011-02-01T18:59:00.000+10:00

a visitor in Viva's jungle

This is my most recent painting. I just finished it today!

I recently joined a group on Facebook. Gorilla Arts Guahan has motivated me to get up and create. I've been kind of stagnant lately, but seeing and hearing all the amazing talent on island has made me want be a better artist.

There is soooo much amazing talent on this island. I've always recognized that I have some crazy talented friends and family, but now I'm looking farther than my own circle and I'm just blown away.

I suggest that we all remember to take some time to appreciate and enjoy our local artists. I'm not just talking about Guahan. Wherever you live look around, go to shows, poetry slams, or even take a walk around your neighborhood and check out the street art.

-damian leon guerrero

Gorilla Shrew - John LG

-TEK

viewed in wonderland: 2011, a year for revolutions?

2011-01-30T23:41:00.000+10:00

I got a little inspired after watching this and decided to paint. :)

Viewed in Wonderland: The beauty of adoption

2011-01-18T21:49:00.001+10:00

I saw this video on rockstar diaries and had to share it. Please take the time to watch it.

adopt rinah from VsTheBrain on Vimeo.

My father was adopted and so was my uncle. They were both born in Japan to parents who weren't ready for children. Adoption is such a beautiful way to grow a family. There are so many children growing up with out parents. I think of all the love and support I receive from my family and I can't imagine being with out that.

I'm sending lots of prayers and love to this family. Support adoption.

Life in Wonderland: 2010 - 2011

2011-01-15T22:46:00.000+10:00

The New Year's celebrations are over and I'm finally finding some quiet time to sit and think about everything. 2010 was an eventful year. While a spent a lot of time frustrated and angry last year, I also spent time learning, growing, and loving. I learned to appreciate what I have so much more. I've made new friends, have spent time with old friends, and am still loving my besties as much as ever. Allan and I have grown closer and have strengthened our relationship. I've also spent more time with my mom in 2010. I wish I spent more time with my brother and his beautiful family though. I guess that's a goal for 2011.

This year will be a great one. I'm sure of it. I have a bunch of things I want to work on this year. I have a few projects I want to work on that I'll be sharing as they materialize. They aren't all that serious. I want to actually learn how to play my bass, the one that is collecting dust. I want to perfect my wonky latiya and learn a few more local dishes. And the other projects I'll talk about later in the year.

The first 2 weeks of 2011 have gone by pretty fast. Here's what I've been up to:

spent a lot of time with Al and his crazy friends

ate really awesome takoyaki - made with love by Al and Joel

went to an amazing poetry slam

had our first beach day of the year

<3 <3 - <3 <3

allan and I got our hair cut - hello bangs!

Life in Wonderland: Heartbroken

2010-12-24T01:36:00.001+10:00

I made the mistake of reading the local paper's online edition today. I should have known better. After reading the comments from the first article I clicked on, I found myself sad, frustrated, and disgusted.

War reparations removed: Senate takes out measure for war survivors

BY ERIN THOMPSON • PACIFIC DAILY NEWS • DECEMBER 23, 2010

Just 24 hours after being told she and other survivors of the Japanese occupation of Guam may finally receive war reparations, Rita Santos Cruz had to be informed that the war reparations provision had been rejected by U.S. senators.

To be honest with you, then if that is the case, then no buildup. Forget it," said the 73-year-old war survivor. "You know, the leaders of Guam better wake up, because we, the manamko', are not kidding them."

Language in the National Defense Authorization Act of 2011, passed by the House of Representatives last week, provided $100 million for Guam war reparations. The reparations plan provided $10,000 to $25,000 for victims of the occupation or the living relatives of those killed during the war, who could submit claims until 2016.

Guam Delegate Madeleine Bordallo had expressed optimism that the provision finally would be accepted when the Senate worked on a compromise defense authorization bill. But yesterday, Michigan Sen. Carl Levin announced that the language providing for the claims had been rejected by the Senate, according to Bordallo's office.

"I am extremely disappointed in the decision by Senate leaders to remove Guam War Claims from the compromise defense authorization bill," Bordallo said in a statement. "I will be meeting with House and Senate leaders tomorrow to discuss the way forward for this important legislation."

The Senate is currently considering an amended version of the defense authorization bill passed by the House of Representatives.

According to Bordallo's office, the Senate can pass the defense authorization bill only by unanimous consent. Because Senate leaders knew that several senators continued to object to the war claims language in the defense authorization bill, they made the decision to amend the bill and pass it without war claims.

As of yesterday afternoon, the bill had not been passed by unanimous consent in the Senate.

For advocates of war reparations on Guam, the decision is a blow to a decades-long fight to receive recognition and compensation for the suffering of those who survived the Japanese occupation.

"How many times do we have to go through this? How many more years? What is it going to take?" asked Sen. Frank Blas Jr. yesterday. "Are our people worth it?

The president of the Guam War Survivors Memorial Foundation, Blas has been pushing for the reparations through a traveling exhibit sharing the stories of survivors, as well as through a newly launched website,http://guamwarsurvivorstory.com.

"Obviously I'm disappointed," Blas said. "Greatly disappointed in the decision to remove what was supposed to be a compromise."

He said he was disappointed with the Democratic leadership in Washington, as well as with Bordallo's efforts.

He said even if Guam received funding from the federal government to support the buildup, it wouldn't compensate for the lack of funds for war survivors.

"In lieu of this, Guam is going to be receiving so many billions of dollars in construction money? Tell that to an 85-year-old war survivor who's not going to be around," said Blas.

Cruz, who was just 7 years old when the first bombs fell, said she watched Japanese soldiers brutally beat her pregnant mother during the occupation. Even though she was a little girl, the soldiers forced her to work.

She said that after years of pushing for reparations from the U.S. government, she was so frustrated she would even consider legal action to get reparations for the island's aging survivors.

"I'm getting pissed off already, because they are treating us like toys," she said.

Some of the comments:

chinpoko wrote:

Shouldn't we be getting war reparations from Japan? I mean they are the ones who committed the atrocities, not the U.S. Why does the U.S. have to pay for the crimes of the Japanese?

I thought this way too, until one day I asked my dad this question. He explained to me that our right to ask Japan for reparations was given away, not by us but by the U.S. Japan was forgiven by the U.S. and we didn't have a say in it.

fiestaman wrote:

One would think that Guam would say to the USA:

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO OUR AID IN TIME OF NEED AND MAKING US A PART OF YOUR COUNTRY. (Thank you for ditching us and coming back after realizing you ~~want~~ need our land. Thank you for bombing the crap out of our island without regard to the people who were loyal to your country even when they weren't citizens. They didn't need homes after the war, since they had the U.S. flag to keep them warm and dry.)

THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING EVERY FAMILY ON GUAM EVERYTHING THEY NEEDED TO MAKE SOMETHING OF THEMSELVES. (Thank you for taking our land and making us dependent on your "handouts." Our island once provided every family on Guam everything they needed to make something of themselves and now every family relies on scraps from the U.S.)

THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING FOOD AND OTHER PROVISIONS WHEN THERE ARE NONE OTHERWISE. (see above comment)

THANK YOU FOR LIBERATING GUAM FROM JAPANESE OCCUPATION AND FROM THEIR TORTURE. (Thank you for reoccupying our island on a greater scale than before the Japanese occupation. Thank you for being a gentler occupier.)

THANK YOU FOR FINANCING THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT OF GUAM SINCE THAT DAY. (really?)

THANK YOU FOR PROTECTING US FROM OTHER COUNTRIES THAT MIGHT WANT TO DO GUAM HARM. (Thank you for using our land to protect other countries. Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to protect the rights and lives of real American citizens while Chamorro soldiers' families living on Guam are second class citizens made to feel like they owe their lives to the red, white, and blue.)

THANK YOU FOR PAYING MY PARENTS AND GRAND PARENTS SOCIAL SECURITY, RETIREMENT AND OTHER PAYMENTS THAT WOULDN'T COME FROM ANYWHERE ELSE. (hmmmm... don't we pay into that?!)

In other words, there is NO NEED for war reparations, because the USA has done this island RIGHT and CONTINUES TO DO SO. (Ignorance is bliss. If only were all so lucky, we'd all be fanatically patriotic.)

TOMEGUNZ wrote

I guess fiestaman is not from here! If that's what he thinks,then one would be "WRONG" ! The U.S. forgave Japan of their war crimes against the people of Guam & beause of that Japan is not liable for what they done to the people here during that time. We do Thank & Appreciate the U.S. for Coming to our aid, but they got what they came for & then some "PROPERTY"! The Chamorro people has lost in every way anyone can ever "LOSE"! I say,let them take back what they think their giving us,& give us back our "ISLAND"!

albertfujmori2 wrote:

guam generates its revenue from tourism.lease payments from the military is way to low.the kind of activites the united states conducts in this area,the local government should be collecting a couple billion annually for the privilge.(!!!) no sucessful organization would agree to the terms put forth by the united states.

Your being grossly underserved by the congressional representative and the rest of the local governments heiarchy.

the united states is in decline anyway,the asians will replace them as the dominate force in the world.perhaps its time to forming alliances with nations in the neighborhood like china,russia and the middle east. since albert enjoys the american holiday christmas,a gift for the PDN comment section. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-12059564

We deserve more from respect from the U.S. and from our own people. This Christmas I want Santa to bring us an island wide education campaign on our island's history and political status. Then maybe next Christmas he can take that campaign to D.C.

To read the article and more of the comments go to: http://www.guampdn.com/article/20101223/NEWS01/12230335/War-reparations-removed-Senate-takes-out-measure-for-war-survivors

Life in Wonderland: Support small businesses! #2

2010-12-02T13:13:00.000+10:00

Life in Wonderland: Support small businesses!

2010-12-01T09:43:00.000+10:00

This holiday season I want to try to support small businesses in my community. Last night I went walking with a couple of friends and we stopped in to a little store. Trick Stop is a small business in Tumon that sells all kinds of magic tricks and novelty gifts.

I want to make more of these little videos to share on my blog and Facebook to help our small businesses.

Viewed in Wonderland: One of the many reasons why Pagat is so important.

2010-11-16T20:32:00.001+10:00

This was filmed at one of We are Guahan's Heritage Hikes. I couldn't make it to the hike because I had to work. I'm glad this footage was shared though.

Community in Wonderland: Programmatic Disagreement: pictures and video

2010-11-06T14:40:00.000+10:00

Programmatic Agreement Open House from Andrea Nicole on Vimeo.

Viewed in Wonderland: The past is coming soon! Must See and must share!

2010-10-27T10:26:00.001+10:00

I was really excited this morning when I logged on to You Tube. This clip is from a film that a friend is directing and producing. It's a look back at our past and I think it is an amazing and important piece of work. It uses local talent for the acting, filming, music, and even props and costumes. I'm really excited to share it with you all.

If you watch it in full screen you'll be able to see the subtitles better.

Did you see the credits? Both my brother and my boyfriend were in the film, but not in this scene. And you probably didn't notice the Spaniard's costume much, but I sewed the burlap tunic and the pants. :D

life in Wonderland

2010-10-21T23:23:00.001+10:00

I haven't been super happy lately. I have a lot that I want to blog about, but I've been distracting myself with lighter thoughts. These thoughts come mostly in the form of shows on Hulu and random vids on You Tube. What would I do with out those sites? I'd probably be more productive. I guess I just need to find a balance. I'm not sure if that is actually possible. I am a text book Gemini after all.

Oh well, with in the next few days I should be posting video and pictures of the Micronesian Islands Fair.

Life in Wonderland: wondering

2010-10-12T13:47:00.001+10:00

I read an article, in the PDN, yesterday about the Independence Day celebration for Palau. The President of Palau was on island for the local Palauan community's celebration. He mentioned in the article that their sovereignty has allowed them the freedom "to adapt and enforce policies without a higher authority." That sounds nice. I wonder if the Palauan community, as well as the other peoples of other sovereign nations who have made Guam home, would support the Chamorro's quest for self determination.

Nations like Palau and the Philippines were once war prizes just like Guam, but now they are their own. They reclaimed their sovereignty and dignity. I wonder if they would stand in support of our decolonization if we asked it of them.

Community in Wonderland: rallying to realize our destiny

2010-10-03T20:43:00.000+10:00

On October first, over 500 people got together at Adelup. Rallies on our island are often associated with political parties. This was different. This was about coming together to say, the U.S. Department of Defense's record of decision will not determine our destiny. They refused to hear us out. They won't give us a voice in our own future? Well this is our home. And we are not going anywhere. We will do everything in our power to make sure that the destiny we envision for our island will be realized.

Our local media was present, but as usual they turned the story in to something else. They made it seem like we are all completely anti military and want them all gone. They took something that was beautiful and put it under dim lights with their biased reporting. They helped to feed the fire in the nasty hearted people who comment on their articles. I try not to care what they say anymore.

But the truth is that the rally was a positive event. It gave people a place to share their dreams for our island. It gave us a place to let out our frustrations about our DEIS/EIS comments being replied to with generic responses. It was a place where generations of our people could share stories and laughter and hugs. It was also about spreading awareness to those who wanted to know more about what is going on and the impacts the build up will have on us. It was about giving the side of the story that our media often spins until it is unrecognizable.

Here are my highlights of the rally:

There were so many families in attendance. Many of them were young families who want to know that their children's future will not be narrated from the pages of the EIS. I heard a young mother talking to her daughter in Chamorro and another mother making sure her two young sons understand why they were there.
There were many students at the rally. They were having conversations about their concerns regarding the build up. They weren't just whining. They were making very legitimate points. I think it is great that they are conscious of what is happening around them, but at the same time I'm worried that we may have to do more to help these young adults cope with this.
There was a table where you could sign up with the Chamorro Registry. This is awesome!! So many people may want to do this, but don't know where to go and what is required.
There was a table where people could create their own signs. This is a great outlet for our frustrations.
There were fact sheets and fliers for upcoming events.

Community in Wonderland: Behind the scenes - the art from Realize Our Destiny

2010-10-03T03:00:00.001+10:00

I put together this video using the pictures I took at our late night art sessions.

:( I just realized that I misspelled organized in the credits. Oh well. I'll fix it in the morning. It's 3 a.m. here.

Life in Wonderland: It is worth it!

2010-09-26T10:41:00.003+10:00

I've never had to be more careful with my choice of words. I've hand written pages of blogs and started to comment on Facebook statuses only to not publish them because I don't want to unintentionally hurt anyone. I look forward to those events where I feel like I can breathe with out something jumping out of my mouth that may sting someone I barely know or even worse, someone I care deeply for.

Sometimes when I talk to people about events relating to the build up I get responses like, "that sounds depressing." Maybe it does sound depressing, but honestly I haven't felt depressed at any of these events. Even when there are few people in attendance, I leave feeling better than I did reading the headlines the day before.

While the circumstance that is bringing us together may seem cruel and disheartening, the fact that we are gathering against it is empowering. What would be truly depressing is if no one cared. If no one felt it was worth the discomfort and struggle that would be depressing.

In the beginning I thought about if it would be easier to go on like nothing was happening. Sometimes I do step back and spend a few days away from articles and conversations regarding the build up, but it still looms over me like this shadow I can't out run. I realized I want to be a part of the shadow over the build up and the best way to do that is to stay informed and active.

Life in Wonderland: Come together

2010-09-07T14:47:00.000+10:00

When I start to feel sad or scared about the future of our island I like to watch videos posted on You Tube of our community coming together. It always makes me feel better.

Life in Wonderland: energy crisis

2010-09-01T00:33:00.000+10:00

I've been absent from my blog for some time now. I've been busy with work and I just got over a cold. I'm also running out of things to say at the moment. I'm feeling a little numb to all that is happening around me. It feels kind of like while we're all stuck in this crazy traffic that big fish is circling our island. It's getting ready to take out some more big chunks of land and displace families.

I'm trying to process everything and figure out the best way to spend my energy with out getting burnt out.

I'd really like to become more educated on my island's history prior to colonization. I'd like to learn more of the language. I want to spend more time appreciating the beauty of our island and maybe that will replenish my passion.

This evening Allan and I attended a public hearing on a local legislative resolution in support of the Declaration of the Rights of Indigenous People. We were late, but managed to make it in when the last panel of speakers started. I'm glad we did. I enjoyed hearing the testimonies and we were able to get a copy of the resolution. We also got to hang out with some friends afterwards. It was a positive evening and I'm hoping to spend the rest of the week enjoying more positive moments.

In light of my whole energy budgeting and positivity trip I'd like to spend the month September sharing positive energy experiences with my blog readers. So expect happy stories from my childhood and lots of pictures of my island home. I'm hoping to have a beach day and maybe even go on a hike.

Community in Wonderland: Getting more involved and making friends

2010-08-06T02:33:00.000+10:00

I took this picture at the Agat Night Market. I was there on Tuesday passing out fliers for the community action We Are Guahan is organizing for tomorrow. I had a lot of fun doing the outreach. My friend Colleen and I made 2 new friends. Erica and Tina actually live in California, but came out here to help for a bit. Isn't that amazing? Aside from making new friends we were at such a beautiful location. Just look at those flowers and that sky. We were right by the ocean too and got to watch the sunset. Colleen and I were a little nervous at first about talking to strangers about such a touchy subject, but once we got started it was easy. Some people were really in to it. One family was asking questions and sharing information with us. They even let us leave some fliers with them. Some people were polite, but just not that interested. One family just said no when we offered them a flier. But most people at least pretended to be interested.

Last night was another good night. Another Guahan blogger, Desiree, from The Drowning Mermaid, hosted a sign making party. I got off at 7 and Colleen and I headed over there shortly after. I had a lot of fun. It's nice being in a fun environment, but still at the same time getting work done. Kisha, another new friend, and I made latte stone signs as we talked about the history of colonialism in the Pacific and it's impacts to the health of islanders. When Colleen and I left around 10 the other girls were still working hard. I can't wait to post pictures of the signs that were made.

As emotional and busy as this week was, it was worth it. I hope a lot of people show up tomorrow, but either way I already feel better about the future of our island. Just knowing and physically feeling that I'm not alone, in the emotions and frustrations and dreams that I have in dealing with the build up and all the other issues of my home, give me hope. So to all my sisters, in this struggle, whether I met you years ago or just this week, I'd like to say thank you.

Community in Wonderland: Shared info

2010-07-27T17:45:00.002+10:00

This is from a link that was shared on Facebook. This is absolutely disgusting. The military occupies 31.14% of Guam, an unincorporated territory. The state that comes closest to us is California and the military only occupies 3.83% of the state.

Percent of Land Occupied by the U.S. Military on Guam is Much Higher than Elsewhere in the U.S. | Agriculture and Natural Resources Program

Percent of Land Occupied by the U.S. Military on Guam is Much Higher than Elsewhere in the U.S.

24 July, 2010 - 11:42 — aubreymoore

Everyone on Guam knows that the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) occupies about one-third of the island and DoD is demanding additional land in the Pagat area on which to build a new firing range.

After yesterday's public meeting on the Final Environmental Impact Statement for the proposed Guam military buildup, I was asked how the military footprint on Guam compares to that for other places, such as Hawaii. As you can see from the following table, the proportion of land occupied by the military on Guam is much higher than elsewhere in the U.S.

State or Territory	Total Area (sq. miles)	Area Occupied by DoD (sq. miles)	Proportion of Total Area Occupied by DoD
Guam	209	65.08	31.14%
Northern Mariana Islands	184	24.59	13.35%
California	163,696	6,270.13	3.83%
Hawaii	10,931	373.31	3.42%
Florida	65,795	1,078.86	1.64%
Maryland	12,407	171.64	1.38%
Puerto Rico	3,515	41.35	1.18%
Alaska	663,268	2,861.49	0.43%
Rhode Island	1,214	4.72	0.39%
Delaware	2,490	6.62	0.27%
American Samoa	77	0.17	0.22%

Data Sources

Total Area - Wikipedia
Area Occupied by DoD - Department of Defense Base Structure Report; Fiscal Year 2009 Baseline (A Summary of DoD's Real Prpoerty Inventory). Table Viii. Total DOD Inventory. Data were taken from the column headed "Total Acres". This includes land owned or leased by DoD.

Community in Wonderland: Some appreciated help for Pagat

2010-07-27T17:31:00.001+10:00

Law firm to review final EIS, protect Pagat area | guampdn.com | Pacific Daily News

Local and national historic preservation groups have retained the services of a mainland law firm to ensure the military follows the required environmental process if it creates a new firing range in the Pågat area of Mangilao.

The Guam Preservation Trust and the National Trust for Historic Preservation have retained the law firm of Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal LLP, according to a written statement from the Guam trust.

The military plans to build a firing range close to the Pågat area, which contains the remnants of an ancient Chamorro village and a cave filled with fresh water. The military has stated the area won't be damaged by gunfire and the public will not lose access to the cave completely.

The Guam Preservation Trust is a nonprofit Guam public corporation with the goal of preserving Guam's culture and historic sites. The National Trust, which was created by Congress, earlier this year placed Pågat village on its annual list of the nation's 11 most endangered places.

Joe Quinata, chief program officer for the Guam Preservation Trust, yesterday said the law firm, which is working for free, is very experienced in the National Environmental Policy Act process and will review the final environmental impact statement for the Guam buildup, which is scheduled to be made public later this week, although the military has said the plans for the firing range remain unchanged.

The federal environmental law requires the federal government to take into account the environmental impact of its proposed actions and to consider reasonable alternatives to those actions.

There will be legal action if necessary, Quinata said.

Quinata said the law firm's involvement is being announced, in part, to let the community know "there is still some hope" for preservation of the Pågat site.

More details about the law firm and its role are scheduled to be discussed during a press conference 11 a.m. today at the governor's complex at Adelup.

Community in Wonderland: More on the Pagat rally

2010-07-25T23:58:00.000+10:00

According to the email I received from We Are Guahan, there was over 300 people at Pagat last Friday. For a usually complacent community that is a good turn out for a protest. Considering it was a week day and it was also extremely hot, I wasn't expecting there to be that many people. I was a little worried that not enough people would show up. Thankfully I was wrong. This sends a great message to the visiting officials, our leaders, and the rest of our community. I was really glad that I was able to attend. This is history in the making and thankfully we had some documentary film makers at the event.

Speaking of film, here are some videos I found on You Tube.

We Are Guahan did a great job organizing the event. They had volunteers shuttle people from the parking area at the Guam Raceway Park to the trail head through out the event. They had ice cold water being handed out by volunteers. They led chants that even I was yelling along to. I don't usually raise my voice for any reason, but it felt good. It released a lot of frustration in a healthy way.

And the police did a great job too. You'd think they would be intimidating during a protest, but they just made sure that everything was safe. We were lining a road during a busy time and they made sue the motorists slowed down when approaching the area. Someone actually sped through and was stopped by the cops.

As great as the community action event turned out to be, I'm sure there is more work to be done. I think one of the most important things is awareness and commitment. We need to make as many people as possible aware of what is happening on Guam. They need to know that the people of Guahan are still being treated like second class citizens by the U.S., a country that has become the world police. Who will police them??? And we need to be committed to spreading awareness and not letting them push us around anymore.

Community in Wonderland: Biba Pagat!

2010-07-23T23:01:00.001+10:00

I'm so exhausted. I had to work at 7 a.m. this morning and shortly after getting off I went with my parents to Pagat. The sun was blazing, but it was the intensity of the situation that really set us on fire. How did we allow it to get this far? What kind of world are we living in where the beacon of democracy is about to take one of the nation's 11 most endangered historical sites and use it as a firing range? This is so unthinkable, I can't even believe that we have to protest to protect Pagat.

Here is some media coverage on it:

PNC: Island residents form human chain to protect Pagat

KUAM: Islanders unite to protect Pagat

I'm off to get some rest. I have to work at 7 again tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to put down in words what I'm feeling and also more details and links about the community action that took place today.

Before I forget, thank you! Thank you to everyone who made it out and thank you to those who couldn't, but still have Pagat in their hearts and thoughts. And a big thank you to all the volunteers and the police officers.

Community in Wonderland: Liberate Pagat!

2010-07-21T15:58:00.001+10:00

Today is the day we celebrate Guam's liberation from the Japanese. As a child, my grandmother would have our mothers get all of us together. We'd go to the parade and watch as all the amazing floats rolled by. The floats are always really amazing. It was so much fun for us kids, but for my Grandma it was deeper than just candy, music, and floats. When she was our age they weren't marching in parades. The marching they did was different. My grandma is gone now, but I still respect today as her day. I see today more as a memorial day for those who lived through and those who lost their lives, during the occupation and ending it.

Instead of going to the parade or even watching it on t.v., I decided to stay home and make posters for the rally on Friday. We will be lining route 15 to show the military officials and the CEQ that we care about Pagat. And really, it isn't just the ancient village that is being affected. There are families who will be asked to give up their land. The Raceway Park, that has helped to keep our roads safe from illegal drag racing, will have to relocate. How long will it take for them to rebuild? There is also an endangered species of Butterflies, the Marianas 8 Spot Butterfly, that calls Pagat home. And then there is the noise pollution and environmental problems that the firing range can cause. Not to mention, the military already has 1/3 of the island. What will be left for us when they're done? Will they ever be done?

Community in Wonderland: climate change and the military build up

2010-07-18T00:33:00.001+10:00

Last night Nella and I watched The Age of Stupid. And it made me think that climate change is like the military build up on Guam. Just because you think it is inevitable doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you can to make things better. We should at least try to make our island, and the world, as pleasant as possible for future generations. It's almost selfish not to try.

"Won't be asked to do my share when I'm gone ... Can't be singing louder than the guns when I'm gone ... Can't add my name into the fight while I'm gone ... Can't live proud enough to die when I'm gone - So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here" -Phil Ochs

Viewed in Wonderland: This place could be so beautiful

2010-07-17T21:39:00.000+10:00

Community in Wonderland: Update on the briefing

2010-07-13T23:13:00.001+10:00

I'm using the Blog This! feature to share this article.

Briefings held on USMC's training/firing ranges - KUAM.com-

by Nick Delgado

Guam - With the release of the final environmental impact statement just around the corner, it seems there's still some confusion as to where the military plans to construct a firing range to accommodate the Marines' training. During a teleconference lawmakers as well as others in the community voiced their concerns, as they feel that they might not have a say when the military does decide just where that site might be.

There were two meetings held today for elected leaders and stakeholders to learn more about what went into deciding the preferred training ranges needed for the Marines. The first was held at one am this morning via teleconference; while the other was held just before lunch time via videoconference between the Joint Guam Program Office and the White House Council on Environmental Quality.

The event was facilitated by Guam Congressional Delegate Madeline Bordallo's office, but we were denied access.

Although we were turned away, KUAM News was able to sit-in on the teleconference held at 1am Tuesday this where senators gathered to listen to a presentation made an ocean away in the nation's capitol. The purpose of the teleconference was to allow the JGPO and the U.S. Marines Corps the opportunity to present to the CEQ how they went about selecting the proposed sites and preferred alternatives for the firing and training ranges needed for the relocation of Marines from Okinawa to Guam.

JGPO Executive Director David Bice said that the process in selecting property for a Marine firing range came under the direct guidance of the Department of Defense to maximize federal property on Guam, as well as consider the safety of those using the range along with the surrounding community. Bice says JGPO ruled out a number of proposed sites due to the size, including Navy Barrigada, Apra Heights, Drydock Island, Mt. Santa Rosa, Naval Hospital, and Potts Junction. Other areas ruled out due to incompatibility for surrounding areas include Andersen Air Force Base, Northwest Field, Andersen South, Tarague Beach, Orote Point, and Naval Magazine.

We Are Guahan representative Leevin Camacho was at briefing at the delegate's office this morning, and said, "One of the reasons why they got rid of the other options is because of anticipated public concern, we're all here and Pagat has been such a tough issue because the public is concerned." And Pagat was the biggest part of the discussion, as the military has deemed the preferred site a good location for Marine training.

Marine Corps Head of Range Development Tom Shear explained the types of ammunition the Corps will be using, which includes several training rounds that emit an orange powder in an effort to prevent any fire hazards. He adds that there will be no damage to the lusongs or lattes on the historic site if it is selected.

Lawmakers raised several concerns about the use of the Pagat land and questioned why Resolution 275 that states no action on Pagat be taken seems to have fallen on deaf ears.

"It's a dog and pony show for me," summarized speaker of the 30th Guam Legislature Judi Won Pat. "They gave us papers to follow through but no matter what we said if this was the preferred site, why don't they just come right out and say this is it, stop dragging us through all this and say it's notional, tell us and stop it right now and let's start talking then."

Said Shear in response, "If it wasn't made clear earlier we were trying to make it clear that the no action alternative or not using these training ranges is one of the options at the end of the day, when the decision has to be made in the record of decision that will follow the final environmental impact statement, so the consideration of not going to these training ranges is on the table. The object of this briefing was to describe what actions could be considered should the decision go forward with the relocation of Guam. So that's why we tried to emphasize throughout this briefing that these things were notional."

Vice-Speaker B.J. Cruz expressed disappointment about the lack of notice on the briefing, as he feels the military's notion of Pagat is misleading. Senator Frank Blas, Jr. also questioned what the military plans to do if the preferred site in Pagat does not work out. However, the feds reacted to most of the concerns by stating that nothing is official, and that most of the details will become clearer in the final EIS. The military also admits that the final EIS would explain why other areas like Tinian were not selected to host a firing range.

The feds also mentioned a range management plan that would keep the public informed of the training activity, as well as let the community know when they can visit the site. However, more concerns were raised by the a representative from Fuetsan Famala'oan's Lisa Cipollone, who asked National Historic Preservation Trust officials how they felt about Pagat being considered as it was recently designated as one of America's 11 most endangered historic sites.

In the meantime, participants like Department of Agriculture's Tino Aguon feels the briefing only led to more unanswered questions from the feds, saying, "I believe there are more questions that came out of this. And so we look forward to seeing future discussions and how this will impact."

Military Buildup Chair Senator Judi Guthertz also expressed frustration, stating that those providing the briefing deflected pointed questions about Pagat's range plans. Guthertz says she was not satisfied when she asked how the military plans to get the land, and Bice stated, "negotiate". Likewise, some felt that the two-hour briefing did not allow them enough time to have their concerns addressed, such as Senator Tina Muna Barnes, who feels the feds think that the people of Guam are, in her words, "third-class citizens".

1 a.m. in Wonderland: Uninvited

2010-07-13T01:35:00.001+10:00

This morning I received an email about a meeting that will be taking place in D.C. discussing the dreaded Final E.I.S, regarding the military build up on Guam. As I looked in to it more I realized that the initial media reports made it out to be a public meeting, that residents could join through a conference call at 1 a.m., but it now seems that it is only actually open to those invited . They will be discussing why the location chosen as the preferred alternative for the firing range is so ideal. The preferred location is our historical Pagat area which seems like the most unideal area for a firing range since it is an ancient village. It's hard to imagine people, across so many miles, discussing how our ancestors' resting place is the perfect place for the military to use as a firing range. It's hard not to close your eyes and see spirits waking to the deafening sounds of machine guns going off. I wonder what our ancestors would say to the people at that gathering, if they were invited.

When we went to Pagat, on January 1 this year, I was hoping for something. I was hoping for hope. I wanted the experience to erase my fears and I wanted to walk out of that jungle knowing it was safe and would always be there for me, when I needed my spirits lifted. As I stood at the edge of the cliffs with the beautiful ocean ocean in front of me and that comforting jungle behind me I was just mad that anyone could even consider taking that moment and making it loud and ugly. And I felt so incredibly sad knowing that if it happens it will be our fault. So off we went to the meetings armed with signs and my shirt with a picture of Pagat printed on it.

Now I'm just wondering if all that time spent reading that insane document and trying to write intelligent comments, all that time feeling intimidated and disheartened at those meetings was where I should have focused my energy? After all, it seems like it was all just a formality for them. Sometimes I think I should have ran in to Pagat and just woke my ancestors myself, to warn them about what is to come and to apologize for all I can't do or say. I want some miracle ending straight out of a blockbuster hit, where all the living things on the land and in the ocean join us in saying "NO!, this stops here." It sounds silly, but so does the idea of a man walking on water.

some links I've gathered for your further reading

FEIS briefing set in D.C. - M.V.

We are Guahan prepares for release of FEIS - PDN
Col Jackson with Ray Gibson - PNC (radio interview)

Community in Wonderland: Weaving Solidarity

2010-07-08T23:25:00.000+10:00

A little while back myself and other members of the local community were contacted by a Graduate student in the Department of Anthropology and International Development at The George Washington University in Washington DC. Hermon Farahi and his partner are trying to come out to document the Chamorro social movement against the military build up.

I recently received a message that I'd like to share with all of you, in case any one would like to help.

Friends and Family,

I would like to cordially invite you to join us in support of our newly initiated KICKSTARTER Project, entitled: "Weaving Solidarity: Indigenous Chamorro Movements & The US Military Buildup of Guam". Help us to conduct valuable social-anthropological RESEARCH, and to produce a DOCUMENTARY FILM, as well as PHOTOGRAPHS, depicting the issues facing the Indigenous people of Guam and The Northern Mariana Islands.

THE ISSUE:

The Indigenous Chamorro people of Guam and The Mariana Islands are facing the impacts of the single largest military base expenditure in modern history, with an estimated budget of $16 Billion USD. The US already occupies a third of the island for Military purposes, and seek to further dispossess the local inhabitants off their land. In addition, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has deemed the buildup as “environmentally unsatisfactory”, attributing the worst possible rating to the proposed plans. All this is in the context of 500 years of continuous colonial occupation, which has not changed til this day.

We NEED your HELP to make our project a reality. Please Visit our Kickstarter Page to learn more and donate to both the cause and the project!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/psalms133/weaving-solidarity-indigenous-chamorro-movements-a

We're also offering some pretty cool rewards for your pledge/donation, so you'll get something back in addition to supporting an important cause and project!

Si Yu’us Ma’ase!
Sincerely,
Hermon Farahi & Jeannae Flores

Weaving Solidarity: Indigenous Chamorro Movements & The US Military Buildup of Guam from Hermon Farahi on Vimeo.

What is happening on the island right now is really interesting. Speaking out against the military is something very rarely done here. We've been raised to be appreciative of our liberation and not to question the intentions of the military. Those that did were looked down upon and ignored. But now it's almost like our people are waking up. People are beginning to openly discuss our history and our future and how much we are willing to give up. This is an important time. This is history in the making and it should be documented, whether it goes our way or not. It'll be nice to be have proof that we did what we could to have a say, to finally have a voice on our island.

Life in Wonderland: lunch time

2010-07-08T21:01:00.000+10:00

It always takes forever for Allan and I to decide what to have for lunch. I'm incredibly indecisive and Allan gets tired of having to name places to eat. Today it took a while, but it was definitely worth it. We decided to go to Chamorro Village for lunch.

This is the vendor that we usually eat go to.

I had the fiesta plate. Pancit, red rice, ribs, bbq chicken, salad, shrimp patty, and beef kelaguen filled my tummy. It's not the prettiest meal, but it is one of the tastiest!

Viewed in Wonderland: So very disappointed

2010-07-07T19:49:00.000+10:00

When Allan and I found out that they were making a movie out of the cartoon Avatar we were so excited. We used to see my nephew, Mikey, watching it at my parents house and one day I came home from work and Allan insisted I watch this cartoon with him. We feel in love with it. Allan and I have slightly obsessive personalities and when we get hooked, it's serious.

Of course we later found out about the casting decisions and were put off on the movie, but after seeing the previews we decided to give it a shot. And so we woke up early yesterday to make sure we could make it to the morning showing in 3D. Wow!!! We were so disappointed in the first 30 minutes that we had to leave. Everything was going by fast and heavy with narration and the dialog seemed awkward. It's one thing that they didn't really look like the characters in the cartoon, but their personalities were different too. They even pronounced some of the characters' names differently. It was so awkward I felt awkward watching it. It was really sad. But you don't have to take my word for it. I'm not super movie know it all. I've been known to like some generally considered lame movies. :P Go watch it and let me know what you think!

I love my 3D glasses though!! Instead of putting them in the box to be recycled Allan and I kept ours.

Allan used his as eye protection while he worked in our tiny yard, later that day. :P

Life in Wonderland: productive day off

2010-07-04T22:51:00.002+10:00

I requested to have yesterday off from work. Originally I wanted to attend the Guam Environmental Alliance's first event. They spent yesterday painting murals on bus stops in the southern area of Guam. Sounds like an awesome way to spend a Saturday to me, but Allan and all my friends either had to work that morning or were sick. I hope to make it to the next event though.

Don't worry though! I didn't waste a requested day off to lounge around in my pajamas and watch shows on Hulu. My mom actually needed help cleaning her closets and gathering stuff for a yard sale that Guma Mami is having. The yard sale is actually a fundraiser for Guma Mami. I had fun helping her decide what to keep, what to give to me, and what to donate for the yard sale.

After I finished helping her I went back to my apartment and decided to do some major cleaning and purging. I ended up with a banker box, a large shopping bag, and 2 paper grocery bags filled with items for the yard sale. It felt good to not only get rid of some clutter, but also know that these things would be going to people who need them, will help raise money for a good cause and also stay out of our landfill.

And after all that was done I spent the evening in my pajamas watching You Tube vids with Nel, in the comfort of my clean apartment. I love it!

Oh and I also found the time to hang up some of Luke's paintings.

I love his robot series! He also did a painting of a robot inspired by Viva, our not so little puppy. So cute. I'm trying to get him to do one of our kitty, Merlot. I don't want her to feel left out. :(

Grow in Wonderland: With love from my tiny yard

2010-07-03T13:33:00.000+10:00

My crown of thorns.

I moved them outside because my friend told me that having thorny plants in your home is bad feng shui. :P

My herb bowl and papaya tree.

Eventually I'd like to have more edible / fruit bearing plants. I'd love to grow my own tomatoes and green beans.

Life in Wonderland: One amazing woman's story of Freedom

2010-07-02T00:09:00.001+10:00

A year or so ago, I found a book on my mother's bookshelf and decided to take it home to read. It didn't take too long for Stolen Lives to transport me to Morocco and I was so hooked on the book that it felt like I was becoming a family friend of the Oufkirs. I was enraged to hear of their imprisonment and desperately waited for their liberation.

Malika Oufkir, the author, was locked away with her family in 1972. And by locked away I'm not talking about being in prison with 3 square meals a day and medical attention when needed. Imprisonment was a stark contrast to the beautiful life she led as the daughter of a general and companion to the princess. For two decades the Oufkirs were held as prisoners for a crime Malika's father was said to have committed.

A couple days ago I reconnected with Malika, when my mother lent me Freedom: The Story of My Second Life. This is the story of Malika rediscovering the world she was banished from. I haven't finished reading it, but I can say that there are parts that have made me laugh, like her encounters with the ATM machines and pushy women in the grocery store. But there are also serious parts of the reading that'll have you thinking for hours about certain aspects of our society.

"And yet, I cannot bring myself to accept the principle of credit. My education, my values, the long absence that cut me off from the ways of the world, all tend to make me reject this general eagerness to spend money that does not exist. I was a helpless prisoner for too long to willingly chain myself to the anxieties of a life on the installment plan. People who live in freedom are tempted by so many enticing things, their dreams are stocked with so many treasures, that they're ready to commit themselves for ten, twenty years, a sentence without appeal, just for a new car."

If you don't have the time or attention span to read Malika Oufkir's books, please consider googling her during a bored moment at school, work, or home. Her story is one that I feel should be shared. Not only does she make us aware of a tragedy that we might have a hard time believing, but she also reminds us that it is in us to rise from such tragedy and grow and nurture.

Life in Wonderland: a guilty pleasure

2010-06-29T22:46:00.000+10:00

Allan has been harassing me about how many bottles of black nail polish I have. And I've been harassing him about how I need more. :P

Just thought I'd randomly share that.

Sketchy in Wonderland: just a thought

2010-06-29T20:36:00.000+10:00

Celebrate in Wonderland: Twenty Six :P

2010-06-18T22:39:00.003+10:00

Uh oh! That's a lot of shots!

Community in Wonderland:

2010-06-10T10:30:00.002+10:00

Some sad news

Another Guam soldier was killed in Afghanistan. Joshua Lukeala is the 35th soldier from the micronesian region to be lost fighting in an American war since 2003. :( He left behind a wife and daughter.

A few times a week I work at the airport and I have to walk by these blown up pictures of all the soldiers from Guam who've died in the "war on terror". It's really depressing because there are a lot. I'll try to take a picture on Saturday when I work.

Read the article, Guam Soldier Killed at Guampdn.com.

Life in Wonderland: Adventures in my kitchen

2010-06-09T21:36:00.000+10:00

Allan is at his parents house babysitting his 3 youngest siblings. So I was home alone and starving, again. At first I was thinking about making estufao, a local dish similar but not exactly like adobo. I didn't feel like waiting for chicken to defrost and I don't care much for handling raw chicken anyways. After doing a sinkful of dishes I decided on Quorn, meatless grounds, with chickpeas and stewed tomatoes. I never made it before, but since the Quorn grounds defrosts quicker I figured it would be easier. I also went to my tiny backyard and cut some green onions and basil from our herb bowl.

It turned out okay, but I think it needed to be more saucy and could've used some lemon juice.

Viewed in Wonderland: Change

2010-06-03T18:43:00.000+10:00

Life in Wonderland: Under the influence

2010-06-01T20:54:00.001+10:00

Last Thursday I went with my friend, Luke, to Ladies Night at DNA. They were having a "Sex and the City" event to benefit the Edward M. Calvo Cancer Foundation. Since Luke works for DNA he had to be there and since they were serving vodka and wine I had to be there. After my first vodka and monster I had three dresses hanging from my neck. Now might be a good time to mention that DNA is a clothing/lifestyle store. Trying on dresses under the influence of alcohol isn't always a great idea. I think it nearly beat my self esteem to death, but later when Nella showed up she helped my choose one that I could wear for my upcoming birthday party. After purchasing the dress and winning a raffle prize, bag of DNA products, I perked up and we all went to Bully's to hang out.

So after a couple more drinks and a conversation with a friend about recent events in her life I started to question a major aspect of my life. Reflecting on your life while under the influence is about as productive as trying on dresses drunk. Nel and I ended the night out in the parking lot. She was half passed out and I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Before she did actually pass out and before Allan and Luke came to rescue us, she said "Just because a girl understands doesn't mean she isn't angry."

Of course my breakdown continued at home. And of course I let it go the next day. I'm such a Gemini. I switch my feelings on and off so quickly. Plus I realize that I tend to confront my feelings and reality when under the influence and hide from them in my sobriety. I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this. Maybe I just want to document it and also remind people to drink responsibly. Remember to have a buddy! Thanks to my buddy I managed to make it home with out blisters. :P Love you NEL! ---> Picture is from one of Nel's birthday parties. :)

BTW: My birthday dress is Lucy Love! They make super cure and comfy clothes. They're a family business and the clothes are made in California.

Community in Wonderland: Creative Spirits 2010

2010-05-27T18:25:00.002+10:00

Last Friday was the annual Guma Mami art auction. Considering it was wine free the turn out was pretty good. There were so many beautiful pieces of art work and lots of smiling faces. The auction helps to support Guma Mami Inc. Guma Mami supports persons with mental illnesses. Most of the art work at the auction is art work produced by the clients. But there are also awesome local artists who donate art work for the auction, like my friends Nella and Luke.

This was the second year that I did henna for the show. I do henna in exchange for donations to Guma Mami. It's an awesome feeling and a lot of fun, but by the end of the night my hands are hurting, I'm super hungry, and my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of their sockets. It's so worth it though. :) Many people here don't really know about henna so it's a good chance for me to share all that I've learned through reading.

Learn more about Guma Mami Inc.

Learn more about henna.

Community in Wonderland: Good news for Pagat!

2010-05-20T11:30:00.000+10:00

The National Trust for Historic Preservation will be adding Pagat to a list of the country's historic and endangered sites. I hope this means Pagat and the areas surrounding it will be safe from military build up activity. It is such a beautiful place that has so much historical significance to our people and should remain accessible to all our island's residents and visitors.

The military stated that if they build the firing range and prevent access to Pagat it will protect it from illegal dumping and vandalism just like the other historic sites that are with in their gates. What is the point of preservation if the people to whom it has historical significance are never or rarely be allowed to visit the site? There are people who must get permission to visit relatives graves because the military controls access to these sites. grrrr.

Anyways, Hooooray for Pagat!!

To learn more about Pagat please check out these links:

Guam PDN - Pagat now historic, endangered site

preservationnation.org - Pagat

Guampedia: Pagat

Celebrate in Wonderland: Belly Blessing

2010-05-18T17:01:00.000+10:00

I had such a lovely Sunday evening recently. I was able to do my first belly blessing. Amanda, who runs Gaia Eco Solutions, is a henna artist also and has done many belly blessings, but was not able to have her own when she was pregnant with her daughter, Evie. It felt really good to be able to this for her, this time around. The entire time the baby was moving around getting excited. The picture above is at the end of the session. The paste is on and the yellow is made from turmeric. There are crystals and glitter also. The picture below is one she sent me of the next day with the paste and sparkles all peeled off.

Life in Wonderland: Dinner for one

2010-05-14T22:57:00.000+10:00

Allan's at his gig so I had to make myself dinner. Under that mountain of mushrooms is red snapper.

2010-05-09T18:59:00.000+10:00

Happy Mother's Day!

There are so many amazing mother's in my life.

Today, I'm wishing them all the love and appreciation in the world.

Especially my mom

and the many amazing mother's in my family!

And for the mother's who've lost a child, I'm wishing them love and strength.

To the mothers of my friends: gratitude for nurturing such beautiful people.

I hope all the mother's in the world have a wonderful day!

Life in Wonderland: Viva & Merlot

2010-05-03T00:08:00.000+10:00

The tourism industry on Guam has been hard hit for a while and it's not looking like it's getting any better. In fact my hours, at work, have been cut. At first I was a bit worried, but I figure the best way to look at it is that I'll have more time to spend with family and friends and maybe even more time to sew. Maybe this is the universe pushing me to do something more with my sewing. People do ask me if I sell stuff, but up until now I haven't had the time to make enough for an inventory. So from all of this Viva & Merlot was born. Of course Viva and Merlot are my furbabies but now it is the name of my new blog, that is strictly for my sewing. Hopefully it will be turned into a little business too, soon - I'm probably going to need the money.

Life in Wonderland: Cost of War

2010-04-27T09:05:00.000+10:00

I was scanning Yahoo News today and I saw this article. I though I'd share it with you all.

Anti-war graffiti group become Afghanistan's 'Talibanksy'

by Lynne O'Donnell

KABUL (AFP) – On walls around Afghanistan's scrappy capital, where million-dollar mansions line rutted roads, anonymous graffiti artists are daubing their disapproving take on the devastating cost of war.

Styled after the anonymous British vandal-artist Banksy, Kabul's streetwise stealth stencillers go by the moniker "Talibanksy", a reference to the Islamist Taliban who have been waging war in Afghanistan for almost nine years.

The street art forms a commentary on the cost in blood and treasure of the war, which has brought 126,000 US and NATO troops to Afghanistan and kills about 2,000 Afghan civilians a year, according to the UN.

Black, spray-painted silhouettes of soldiers and dollar signs, poppies, helicopters and tanks, and children running hand-in-hand began appearing in downtown Kabul a few months ago.

Some show the shadow of a helmeted soldier holding an assault rifle, inside a red circle with a line through it. Others have a silhouetted gun-toting trooper and a dollar sign joined by an equals symbol.

Or simply the words: Cost Of War.

Financially the war is estimated to cost some 100 million dollars a day, according to US media reports.

The human cost to foreign forces so far this year is close to 170, according to the icasualties.org website which keeps tally and says that of the 1,737 who have died since the war began in 2001, 1,051 were Americans.

The people behind the anti-war graffiti call themselves Combat Communications, and claim to be "a small anonymous group of international artists founded last year with the sole aim of advocating/promoting free expression".

According to a statement, they wish to remain anonymous and call their work "social and politically driven graphics".

To read the rest of the article Click Here

Picture source

All dressed up in Wonderland: Originals

2010-04-21T23:26:00.001+10:00

My first semester back at school is nearly over. Yay! As you can see I've been busy with more than just the day job and school work. I've been spending a lot of time in the art room sewing. I wish I could say I've been painting, but lately my medium has been thread and t-shirts. I'm actually really proud of these two dresses because these are all me. I didn't use tutorials or online patterns. I didn't even draw these out first. I just went with it and made it up as I went. They turned out pretty good too.

I can't wait for school to end and summer to begin. I want to make more dresses and hope fully start building an inventory to sell some pieces. ;) I need to pay for school somehow.

Life in Wonderland: Eigo o hanashimasu.

2010-04-13T11:29:00.000+10:00

Watashi wa Andrea desu.

Chamorro jin desu.

Eigo o hanashimasu.

In order to get a degree I need to take two semesters of foreign language. I chose to take Japanese. Many people take Japanese because Guam's main economy is dependent on Japanese tourists. I don't really intend on working in this industry forever. I just wanted to learn Japanese.

Anyways, in my last class we worked on a dialog where you had to say what ethnicity you are and what languages you speak. My class is made up of different ethnnic backgrounds. What I found interesting was that many of the students from the Philippines and Chuuk speak their native language as well as English. All of us Chamorro students could only say, "Eigo o hanashimasu." I speak english. Not one of us speak Chamorro. Although I do know of one student who took a semester of Chamorro at U.O.G.

It's strange that we haven't left our home, like many of our other classmates, yet they can speak their native language. Okay, so it's not that strange and it isn't new info. It was just really weird, hearing it out loud as my classmates declared their mother land and the languages they speak. I wonder if any of the others picked up on this. I wonder if any of them were as mamahloa, or embarrased, as I was at that moment.

Life in Wonderland: Blessed

2010-04-03T22:34:00.001+10:00

I am truly blessed. I am surrounded by so many amazingly talented individuals.

My brother, although he doesn't have the time for it now, is a great artist and poet. My sister in law, Erin, is also an artist in both the visual and culinary realms. Nella, my sister in heart, is fun and passionate in her drawings, vectors, and paintings. Quincy's art work is so detailed and just jaw droppingly beautiful. The Hope's and the mini army of artists at Hope 4 Pain produce unbelievable works of art on skin and on canvas. Zhandro is amazing with his calculated vectors and his paintings that just flow with dumbfounding ease. Tessa has an amazing eye for spotting beautiful fleeting moments and eternalizing them with a click and a flash. Luke, who produces like a factory, is filled with endless inspiration and the energy and talent to put his vision down. There are countless other visual artists and musicians who fill my life with so much beauty that sometimes I just can not believe I am this lucky to experience it all.

And when the thought of all these blessings are just about to make me burst, there is that voice that is filled with more passion than one person should be able to express out loud, and I can do nothing more than just be thankful to be given my life and the people in it.

I love painting, drawing, crafting, and sewing. I love that I have the opportunity to share my creative side, but more than that I am thankful that amazing people share their art with me. I wake up everyday next to someone who never ceases to amaze me and inspire me. His love for music is so natural and pure. And we go through our days together with others who appreciate, support, and create so much beauty.

Our lives and our island are filled with so much talent and beauty. We don't have a grand and glorious gallery. Our island is the gallery and there is so much on display.

This post was supposed to be short and wordless. I just wanted to share a painting my friend Luke did. But the painting got me thinking about all the people who touch my life with the beauty they create. I just wanted to take some time to recognize that and give thanks for the blessings that they are to me.

The Environmentalist

Crafting in Wonderland: Peace Love Charity

2010-04-01T15:23:00.000+10:00

A couple weeks ago, Nel and I were going to the $1.50 store and we spotted a new thrift store. This shop was really nicely put together. Unlike the other thrift shops on island it was not dusty and crowded. They didn't have as many items as the other thrift shops, but what they did have was in excellent condition. I saw a Le Sportsac Toki Doki bag and even a Harajuku Lovers clutch. I bought this cute t-shirt for only $3 with the intention to turn it in to a tube top. It sat in the art room until finally last night I decided to work on it. I thought about maybe doing a halter instead, but finally decided to add some scrap tulle and this cute piece is what I came up with. I'm not usually a big fan of one shoulder tops, but I like the way this turned out.

Here is the info on the thrift store if anyone on Guam is interested.

Peace Love Charity, a vintage store, features a collection of gently used, vintage, brand name and previously owned apparel, accessories, and shoes for men, women and children plus house wares, toys, books, and other items in good condition at great prices. The best part of shopping at Peace Love Charity is that 100% of the proceeds from the store benefit the Edward M. Calvo Cancer Foundation. Peace Love Charity is located in the Calvo Commercial Center, 600 Harmon Loop Road, Suite 101 in Harmon (next to KUAM). The store will be open every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in December (excluding holidays) from 10am-5pm. For more information, please call 632-4PLC (4752) or emailpeaceloveandcharity@gmail.com.

Crafting in Wonderland: I've got a double!

2010-03-29T17:21:00.001+10:00

I was off from work today and decided to finally make a duct tape double of myself. I've been wanting a dress form for a while, but shipping a dress form to Guam would be so expensive. After seeing all the great DIY dress form tutorials on You Tube, I decided this would be the next best thing. So I enlisted the help of Allan. He did a really good job and I managed to not pass out. She isn't an exact double, but she fits my t-shirts okay so I can't complain.

I could've really used that double a couple weeks ago when I was making this top. Instead I was forced to try it on, take it off, sew adjustments, try it on, take it off, sew adjustments . . . Oh well.

Life in Wonderland: News from Guahan

2010-03-24T22:00:00.000+10:00

Priest Abuses - an article from Marianas Variety about a problem that is being brought to light around the world.

Philippine fashion icon coming to Guam: Inno Sotto to host charity fashion show - Article, from the PDN, on the prince of Philippine fashion" and his upcoming visit to our island.

Build up utilities cost: $1.75B - PDN article on one of the prices to be paid for the military build up. And yes that is B, for billion.

Celebrate in Wonderland: One Night in Tokyo and Sky Creations!

2010-03-24T16:10:00.000+10:00

Just thought I'd share some pictures from Sharon's birthday party!

If you like Sharon's outfit you can find it on Etsy! We ordered it from Sky Creation!

If you like my top: Thanks, I made it! : P

Celebrate in Wonderland: GAX and One Night in Tokyo

2010-03-19T00:33:00.000+10:00

Two events on Friday night. Allan and I are both off from work and school, but he has his usual gig at Bully's.

Opening act for Friday is GAX, the Guam Art Exhibit. I'm excited for this show, mainly because my very good friend, Luke, works for the company that puts it together and he has been very active in the production of this show. I also know many of the exhibiting artist. Hopefully Nel, Tes and I will be exhibiting at the next one.

Headlining for my Friday night is "One Night in Tokyo", my friend Sharon's birthday party. Sharon is a very sweet girl and last year she spent her birthday away from all of us, in Japan. She was there taking care of her mom. For that birthday we had all pitched in to buy her the cutest outfit, but we didn't give it to her until our Christmas party. So it is kind of the inspiration of this party. Well that and she is half Japanese (cue Weezer music now) and has the most kawaii anime eyes. :P

In preparation for this night I've been working on a Japanese inspired outfit. In fact I'm taking a break from my sewing to post this. :) I hope it turns out well. Either way I'm sure It'll be a great night filled with awesome art, great friends, and lots of celebrating.

Hope everyone else has a great weekend!

One Night in Tokyo flier produced by Nella @ Resolution Tree

Life in Wonderland: Reminding myself to breathe

2010-03-14T12:01:00.000+10:00

Life in Wonderland: another breather

2010-03-08T17:13:00.001+10:00

Lately I've been really caught up in school, work, and the DEIS/Build up. Well as far as school is concerned I'm back in the zone. I got a 100% on my first Nihongo test and an A on my first math test. So I think I'll be OK in the studies department. Work is work. Not much else to say on that topic. And as for the build up, the DEIS comment period has been over for a while. It's amazing what was accomplished in such a short amount of time. The people at We Are Guahan did an amazing job getting information out to the public. And it's nice to know that many of our concerns were also reflected in the EPA's comments. For such a major move from a very powerful and important department of American government, it is really sad that the DOD didn't put the effort in to make the DEIS, and their plan in general, safer for the environment and people of Guahan. They shouldn't be surprised that the DEIS received the lowest possible score. It's not over yet, but I think we all deserve a moment to breathe.

My breather

Since the beginning of the year I've barely ventured in to the art room, except to get some supplies to make protest signs or to stash Allan's gig equipment. Last week I decided it was time to clean up the art room and start a project. I saw an episode on Thread Banger, a while ago, where she made a shirred dress. After watching that I went out in search of elastic thread and found some at Rhadi's. I never got around to making anything though, until last week. I made this blouse out of some fabric that Shauna had given me. It ended up being a bit loose on me so I decided to give it to Nella. I seriously need a dress form. I'm going to try to make one using one of the many duct tape dress form tutorials online, as soon as I can find the time and money to buy the supplies. Then maybe I'll be able to actually wear some of the clothes I sew. :P

Life in Wonderland: GUAHAN

2010-02-17T01:38:00.002+10:00

Recently, in his state of the island address, our Governor expressed that he would like to work with the legislature to reclaim the indigenous name of Guam, Guahan.

This excites many people. Some welcome the name change. Some are against it. After reading many of the comments on PDN I think many people are frustrated that our Governor, of all his choices for a last effort in office, has chosen this. I think many are upset that he side stepped other important issues and went straight to something that would tug at emotions and be more symbolic than concrete. This act will ensure him some pages in our history books and he admitted that it would be his legacy.

Guahan is a strong name for our island. It means "We have" and it is the name our ancestors used to refer to the island that sheltered and provided for them. Yes, to give our island back her name, would mean so much, especially at this point in time. But I don't believe it should be the governor or the legislature that does this. I feel it must first come from the people. Like most things in life, this reclaiming of her name, must start in the home. It must start with each of us, individually.

When I first heard about this, I started thinking about names of countries. As an example, Japan is Japan to the world. The Japanese refer to their home as Nippon. We refer to the natives of Japan as Japanese, but they are nihonjin, or nipponjin, in their language, nihongo. What the world calls them does not affect who they are, because they know who they are. Another example is my name. I work in the tourism industry and many agents have a hard time pronouncing my name, Andrea. I've been called Angerika, Angela, Andolia, and many other names, besides my own. At first it bothered me, but then I realized that this is a minor thing. My family and friends matter most and they know my name.

I'm not saying that I don't want our island to hear her native name ever again. I just want her to hear it from her people first. All the legality and print changes won't matter if it is not being spoken. To the world she may be Guam, but as long as her sons and daughters know she is Guahan, that is what gives her name beauty and strength. That is what matters most.

If our leaders want to encourage a cultural renaissance, I suggest they focus on the communities and schools. Maybe they can offer weekly CHamorro classes at the mayor's offices for a donation that can go to cultural programs and groups. Guam's school system could use a more advanced CHamorro language and Guahan history curriculum. They can encourage the development of more television and radio programs that focus on our history and culture. I think it would also be helpful to support a dialog between our culture and the other cultural groups that we share our island with, returning Guahan back to her hospitable and inclusive roots. Helping people understand what they have and what our island gives us will cause the name change to happen naturally and more effectively. This is the kind of change I'd welcome.

This is just my opinion. I'd love to hear other's thoughts on the name change and what you feel can be done to encourage Guahan's reclaiming of history and culture.

Here are some links to related posts and articles:

The rich irony of changing Guam’s name to Guåhan @ The Guam Blog
GVB Reacts To Proposed Guam Name Change @ www.pacificnewscenter.com
Senators & We Are Guahan React To Governor's Speech @ www.pacificnewscenter.com
Camacho: Name change will affirm identity @ www.guampdn.com