One of the reasons I love Allan is also a reason I loathe him. He is motivated to live. He wants to be able to party, skate, create and play music. He is funny and charismatic. In some ways he is the anti-me. In some ways we balance each other. But sometimes we just drive each other insane. Sometimes I want to live, but realize survival is more important and sometimes I don't think he understands that.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Survival in Wonderland: Living vs. Surviving
I had an epiphany last night. I am motivated to survive. My boyfriend is motivated to live. There are certain things I realize I need to survive. I need to be able to pay my bills and eat. I've also become mommy to a beautiful kitty and puppy. I need to be able to feed them, too. I work a full time job in order to do all of that. But it's hard on me because that's pretty much all I'm able to do with what I make.